A Very Wimpy Kid

A VERY WIMPY KID

  by

  Lee O. Ivory

  A Very Wimpy Kid

  Copyright © 2011 by Lee O. Ivory

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  ***

  Table of Contents

  Preface

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Connect with Me Online

  Preface

  The story begins in a small town called Rocking Creek. It is the tale of a very wimpy kid named Brandon Carter. It is morning time and Brandon has awaken to write in his daily journal.

  Journal

  Diary Entry: May 22, 2009

  I remember when I first got this journal, not a diary. The cover may say diary, but I’m gonna call it a journal. As a matter of fact, I crossed out diary on the cover and on every page and wrote journal. There is actually a not so funny story behind that. Everybody else thinks it’s stupid, but I don’t see the humor in it. A while ago, I had to go to therapy because my mom said I had anger management problems (mainly because of my idiot brother Mitchell). So, they told me to write in a journal to vent my feelings instead of expressing them out loud. When my mom went to get one I told her specifically to get one that said journal and not diary. I guess she either forgot or just disregarded everything I told her. Now all I need is for the wrong person to get a hold of this and my life will be permanently ruined. Well, guess what happened.

  Chapter 1

  It is summertime and today Brandon slept in late. Mitchell, his brother, tiptoed into Brandon’s room with a bucket of mysterious liquid in one hand and a camera in another. Brandon was laying there when Mitchell raised the bucket and dumped whatever it was that was in the bucket onto Brandon. He nearly jumped out of his bed when he felt the cold liquid splash across him.

  “What the! What is this?” exclaimed Brandon. Mitchell could only stand there laughing, flashing as many pictures as he could.

  Brandon yelled, “What is wrong with you?”

  “Aww, did little Brandon wet his pants?” Mitchell teased while he continued to take pictures.

  Brandon finally got up to try to take the camera from Mitchell. He reached for the camera and knocked it out of Mitchell hand, and it fell to the floor and shattered at his feet. They both looked down in shock as the little fragments slid across the wooden floor. All of a sudden Mitchell had Brandon pinned to the ground with his arm twisted behind his back.

  “You’re gonna pay for me a new camera,” said Mitchell threateningly.

  Brandon grunted, “And if I don’t what are you gonna do?”

  Mitchell pulled on Brandon’s arm harder and said, “You are gonna buy me a new camera. You can tell mom and dad. I don’t care but you’re buy me a new one.”

  “Stop man, you are hurting my arm,” cried Brandon.

  Mitchell then stated, “I hope you know that I had to drink a lot of water to fill up that bucket.” He began to laugh.

  “You are the most disgusting person on earth.” Brandon replied.

  “And you,” said Mitchell, “are the wimpiest kid on earth.” Mitchell eventually let Brandon get off of the floor. As soon as he was up, Brandon smacked him in the face and ran into his mom and dad’s room. Mitchell was right behind him, but he couldn’t catch him before he got to their parents’ room.

  Brandon yelled, “Mom, Dad. Mitchell almost broke my arm because he dropped his camera and broke it.”

  “He is lying,” Mitchell blurted out.

  “Can you too just cool it for just a second,” asked their mom sluggishly. “Okay, what happened?”

  Brandon spoke before Mitchell could even think of what he was going to say. “Mitchell threw a bucket of pee on me.”

  “You what,” asked their dad angrily.

  “It wasn’t pee,” said Brandon, “I just told him that so he would freak out.”

  Brandon then yelled, “You have to be the world’s biggest liar! He even told me that I was gonna buy him a new camera because he dropped his and it broke. He almost broke my arm because I said I wasn’t.”

  “Okay, enough! Mitchell you are grounded for three weeks. I am tired of you two fighting. This is going to stop or I am going to ship you both off to boot camp so I wouldn’t have to deal with you,” exclaimed their mom. “Why do I get three weeks,” yelled Mitchell, “when he broke a camera that cost almost four hundred dollars?”

  Brandon stood their making faces at Mitchell. Their dad said, “We are not gonna argue with you about this. The conversation is over. Now, get out of our room so we can sleep.”

  Brandon laughed as Mitchell walked out of the room. He jumped at Brandon and almost hit him in the face as they went back to their rooms.

  Brandon finished getting ready, wrote in his journal, and went downstairs to eat breakfast. He got a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table across from Mitchell. When he finished he got up and was headed to the door when he tripped and fell flat on his face. When he looked over he saw Mitchell’s foot sticking out from under the table.

  While he got up off of the floor he said, “You are a punk and I hate you. I just wanted you to know that.” He then ran out of the house before Mitchell could hit him in the face.

  Cassandra just got out of the shower when she heard a knock at her door. She went to open the door with nothing but a towel wrapped around her and saw Brandon standing there.

  “How is my baby doing this morning?” asked Brandon as he eyed Cassandra up and down.

  Cassandra replied, “In your dreams. You only wish you could have this. And what are you looking at?”

  “I’m looking at you,” said Brandon.

  “Then don’t,” said Cassandra disgustedly.

  Brandon said, “Stop denying this connection--” Cassandra slaps Brandon in the face and he stares while rubbing his jaw.

  Cassandra annoyed, “What do you want Brandon?”

  “My brother beat me up again this morning. I need a place to crash for a while.”

  “It is hard to believe that you two are brothers with the way ya’ll are always fighting,” replied Cassandra. “Okay. You can stay for a while, but Dana and Crystal are coming over in a few minutes. Brandon walked into the house and plopped down on the couch to watch TV. Cassandra went back into her room to finish getting ready.

  A few minutes passed when someone else knocked on the door. Brandon heard the knock but chose to ignore it. They knocked on the door again, and Brandon yelled to Cassandra to come and get the door. She yelled back at him to answer the door. Then, someone banged on the door repeatedly.

  While walking to the door she stated, “All you had to do was get up and answer the door you lazy bum.”

  “Whatever,” mumbled Brandon. She then smacked him on the back of the head and opened the door. It was Dana and Crystal, two of Cassandra’s many friends. Cassandra pulled them into the house with extreme force as if she had to tell them something extremely important.

  She then replied excitedly, “You will never guess what I heard.”

  “Do ya’ll gossip every single minute of the day,” asked Brandon.

  Crystal asked disgustedly, “What is that doing in your house.” She pointed to him indirectly. He still noticed who she talked about. She added, “Don’t you know that wild
animals are supposed to be kept outside?”

  “That was a nice one, but I saw your family at the zoo and they miss you. Why don’t you go back for a visit,” teased Brandon.

  Crystal snapped, “Why don’t you--”

  “Why don’t both of you just chill out for one second, please,” yelled Cassandra. “Okay, you will never guess what I heard. Lina is dating Randy.”

  Dana replied, “Okay. Who is Randy?”

  “You don’t remember Randy? The bully from school. He’s kinda fat, gotta big head, dark skin. He’s not really good looking Come on, you remember Randy,” said Cassandra.

  Dana said, “Oh yeah, I remember him. Are you serious? That’s disgusting.”

  “Well, that’s what I heard,” said Cassandra.

  “Wow. I can’t believe that you guys are gossiping about your own friend. What kind of friends does that make ya’ll,” said Brandon disgusted.

  Crystal then retorted, “Did anybody ask you to say anything Mr. I think I know everything?

  “Nobody had to ask me anything. I can talk when I wanna talk,” snapped Brandon.

  “Will you two cool it. I am tired of the fighting between ya’ll,” yelled Cassandra.

  “You know what, I don’t need this. I am outta here. You guys are all just hypocrites anyway,” said Brandon. He got up and walked out of the house and someone slammed the door as soon as he was out.

  While Brandon walked home he spotted Randy on the street. He tried to find another way around to avoid him, but it was too late. He was spotted.

  “Well, look who it is. Mr. Wimpy Kid in the flesh. How’s your summer going,” teased Randy.

  Brandon replied, “It was going great until I saw your ugly face again.”

  Randy exclaimed, “Dude, there is something behind you!” Brandon spun around quickly to see what it was. Within the next second or two Brandon was on the ground with his arm twisted behind his back just like that morning. Mitchell and Randy were sort of friends.

  ‘”I can’t believe you fell for that one,” said Randy. “You are without a doubt the dumbest boy I have ever met.”

  “Even dumber than you,” replied Brandon as he struggled to get loose. Randy then lifted Brandon onto his feet.

  “You know what? I am not gonna break your arm because then I might end up in jail or something,” said Randy.

  Brandon was still struggling when he said, “That is a great decision. Maybe you are not dumb after all.”

  “But do you know what I’m gonna do, though,” asked Randy. Then all of a sudden Brandon

  felt a sharp pain and heard what sounded like clothing ripping.

  Chapter 2

  Brandon walked into his house repeating the word ouch while he tried to get the wedgie out. He walked past the living room and Mitchell looked over at him started laughing.

  “What happened to you?” he replied.

  Brandon said, “I bumped into your friend Randy on the street today and he gave me the worst wedgie you could ever imagine.”

  “I wish I could’ve been there to see your face when it happened,” Mitchell teased.

  Brandon retorted, “Yeah, maybe you and Randy can team up and go around terrorizing kids for no apparent reason. That sounds like a great job for the two of you. Mitchell jumped off of the couch to get in Brandon’s path.

  “Maybe we should. And you know who would be the first person we would beat?” asked Mitchell.

  Brandon rolled his eyes and asked, “No, who?” Mitchell took a few seconds to answer and then

  exclaimed, “You!” and jumped at Brandon. Brandon flinched and ran into his room and locked the door. Brandon grabbed his journal and flopped down on the bed and began to write.

  Journal

  Diary Entry: June 10, 2008

  Tuesday: Earlier today I went to my friend Cassandra’s house, where of course I was still being made fun of and beaten up. Then, when I left, I bumped into dirt-for-brain Randy, the school bully. He almost broke my arm, then he gave me a wedgie that almost tore through my butt bone. Then, when I got home my retard brain of a brother almost beat me up again. I officially hate my life.

  Brandon hid his journal and flopped back down on the bed and started daydreaming. After a few minutes, the phone rang.

  Brandon answered it and it was Lina calling to see if he was still having a party when his parents go out of town tomorrow. Brandon was confused. Then Lina told him that Mitchell said that they were having a party. Brandon told her that he would call her back, hung up the phone, and went back to the living room where Mitchell was.

  Brandon asked, “Who said we were having a party tomorrow night? Mom and dad will kill us if they found out anything about there being a party going on while they were gone. And why I am the last person to find out about this party?”

  “First of all,” refuted Mitchell, “shut up. You are talking loud enough for them to hear us. And stop being such a wimp. Mom and dad will never find out about this party and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t have to tell you.”

  “We are not having a party,” said Brandon disapprovingly.

  Mitchell quickly got off of the couch and into Brandon’s face and threateningly said, “I say we are having a party and there is nothing you can do about it. You can run and tell mom and dad all you want, but if you do, believe me, I will find a way to use that against you.” Mitchell then went back to the couch and continued to watch television.

  “Okay, whatever. Do what you want. I won’t be here when you have this party,” said Brandon as he walked out of the room. Mitchell was right behind him and stopped him in the middle of the hallway.

  “You might as well stay because all of your friends are coming. You have no other place to go,” Mitchell persuaded. “Stop being such a sissy and stay for the party. We won’t get in trouble. If we get caught I will take all of the blame.”

  Brandon said, “Right, like I’m gonna believe that.” Brandon thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay, I’ll stay, but don’t expect me to help you with anything because I won’t”

  “Whatever, dude,” said Mitchell as he walked back to the living room.

  Brandon walked to his bedroom and got back in bed. The phone rang as soon as he is about to fall asleep.

  Brandon answered annoyed, “Who is it?”

  Lina replied, “It’s me Lina. You were supposed to call me back. What’s going on?”

  “Calm down. The party is still on, okay,” said Brandon anxious to hang up the phone.

  “What kind of food are ya’ll having,” asked Lina. “My parents are getting tired of cooking for me.”

  “Wow, you are so fat. You will find out what we are gonna have tomorrow night, when we have the party, okay.” Brandon then hung up the phone and drifted off into a deep sleep.

  Meanwhile, at Randy’s house Lina and he were discussing their plans. They were just laying around the house watching television.

  Randy questioned, “What did that wimp say?”

  Lina replied, “He said they were still gonna have it.” Randy looked very pleased with that answer.

  “Good, my favorite part of the day is pounding on the little wimp. Tomorrow is the best time to give him what he deserves,” Randy replied.

  Lina proposed, “But his brother is gonna be there. Don’t you think he is gonna help Brandon fight you?”

  “If he does,” said Randy, “I don’t care. I’ll just give him a little something, too!”

  Lina replied, “Whatever, I just can’t wait because I know they are gonna have some slammin’ food at that party. I am gonna to taste every single dish.” Randy looked at Lina with disgust.

  He finally said, “Is all you think about is food?”

  Lina thought of a sarcastic comment, “No, sometimes I think about milkshakes and other types of drinks.” She laughed to herself.

  Randy rolled his eyes at her and replied, “Shut up.”

  Chapter 3

  Brandon was finally happy that the
day was over with, but another dreadful one was quickly approaching. That next morning, their parents had already left to go on their trip. Mitchell walked into Brandon’s room and sat on the bed beside him. He waited, then suddenly he shook Brandon awake. Brandon woke up completely surprised and again almost fell out of his bed.

  “Dude, guess what,” said Mitchell, “you slept through the entire summer and today is the first day of school.”

  Brandon asked surprised, “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah! There were some awesome parties this summer and you missed all of them.” exclaimed Mitchell.

  Brandon replied, “Well, why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “I thought I would do something nice and let you sleep because you looked really tired,” said Mitchell. He then got up and walked out of the room. Brandon jumped out of bed and franticly got ready for school. When he was done he ran downstairs and waited outside for the bus.

  Twenty minutes passed and the bus hadn’t come yet. Mitchell hadn’t come out of the house yet. Brandon went back into the house, and then to Mitchell’s room. When he stepped into his room Mitchell was asleep in bed.

  “Mitchell, I thought you said school starts today? What are you doing in bed, school starts in twenty minutes?” asked Brandon.

  Mitchell answered him sluggishly, “What? No I didn’t. Summer break isn’t over for another two months.”

  Brandon replied, “Then, why did you say--.” Mitchell began to laugh and got out of bed.

  “You are so stupid. Even the dumbest of people wouldn’t have believed that, but then again you may be dumber than them,” Mitchell teased. Brandon reached out to slap Mitchell when he caught his hand in mid-air.

  Squeezing tighter and tighter, Mitchell said, “You could try, but I will twist your arm up again, but this time I will break it.”

  Brandon pulled his arm loose and said, “I hate you and I hate that we are even from the same species,” and walked out of the room.

  “That is a good to know because I am not your biggest fan either, wimp,” yelled Mitchell. Brandon walked back into his room and took out his journal and began writing.